Sunday, 18 October 2015

A Strange Feeling

Yesterday a whole load of us gathered with a financial advisor to see the best way forward on the house front...due to a series of complex reasons...but mainly because my father in law has always wanted control of everything and everyone, we have rented homes for our entire married life...every now and then being dangled along by a promise of something good just around the corner...we have never been in a position to buy, either due to not enough income or not enough deposit...being self employed doesn't help the situation...working in the agricultural sector seems to further hinder us...

Anyway...we are in our third rented home...and a few months ago found out that the owners would really like the property back so their eldest son and his family could move back...so...with renting getting ever more expensive we went to see just how much we could borrow...not a chance...but maybe we could add our youngest daughter to the mix...giving her a third share of the house...anyway...not many lenders do group mortgages and having either me or hubby on the mortgage reduces the length of time it could be paid back over...complicating things if father in law ever did manage to let go some of his millions and we moved out...que youngest's partner, who is being generously helped by his mother with a large deposit...so now it's us who will hopefully be moving in with them...although we had all planned to live together for a couple more years anyway it just seems all wrong. It will be our furniture, in their house. Mortgage and bills will be shared equally...this needs to work for everyone...perhaps I should feel excited, but hubby is on a real downer...someone owes us a not inconsiderable amount of money and cannot, or maybe even will not pay...someone that should know better...someone who likes to control everyone...the same someone who is going to be very lonely is his old age...

I actually feel as dull as the weather has been today...I hope I can pull myself out of it soon, but right now I just feel like whatever did we do that was so wrong to deserve everything we've been put through, it's just not fair...and I'm so determined that it will never happen to any of our children,

J. x

6 comments:

  1. Hi Jackie. I'm not surprised you feel out of sorts. You must be going through so many emotions right now. Hopefully you will be able to come to an arrangement that suits you all. It possibly wont be easy and I have no great words of wisdom (if only) but I'm sure you will be ok. If anything can come from this at least you know your children won't be treated this way. Much love. X

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    1. Thank you Jules...it's so heartening to know there are people out there who care...I'm sure things will work out at the cottage...but it's so darn frustrating being put in this situation when there really was no need...I really don't care how much stuff I have to put into storage at the outlaws, but I feel sick to the core over how we've been treated. X

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  2. Hi Jackie.. Sorry for all of your troubles but hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel.. Sometimes, it is just so hard to adjust..
    I remember saying that to our kids and now sometimes I find I am the one adjusting.. smile.. I have heard it said that one of the best things we can do for our children is to treat them the way we wish we had been treated... God bless you in your new home, dear and may you find
    the happiness you deserve.. xo

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    1. Thank you Faye...we shall be ok...we will do right by each of our children...but my goodness the treatment we have had for the past 26 years has left very deep scars. X

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  3. I have heard so many stories like this - people with parents (in-laws) who will shower one child with money and gifts and the other child(ren) with nothing. It disgusts me but they will get their just desserts. I hope their actions don't leave you bitter and that some day they'll see the light.
    My husband and I could never afford a home either and we always lived on the horse farms where he was employed. And now that he's passed away, I am left with nothing but my memories. No house, no life insurance. But life is ok. I hope it will be for you as well. It's understandable how your husband and you both feel.

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    1. Dear Kate, I don't know you but feel as though I do from reading your blog...I too have several sisters. I particularly sympathise with you as one of my sisters lost her husband just a few months after yours passed away, she nursed him through a variation of the same disease you had to cope with. You seem to be a very brave person Kate...I am touched by your words...I just wonder sometimes if there will ever be a time we can relax and be happy...it's not that we are not going to get something...but waiting so many years has been torturous, and until it actually happens who knows, the goalposts just keep moving. Each time I have seemed to relax and be truly happy something awful has happened, twice now I've decorated then found out we'll have to move on. Why do people put others through such things. Jackie. X

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