Monday, 31 August 2015

Bye Bye Birdies And A Naughty Dog

Yesterday I noticed the swallows mustering along the wires. A sure sign they're getting ready to depart. And then this happened.

Two fledglings appeared along our back fence. They were being fed by their parents at regular intervals.

Now I know I really should get out the DSLR, but iPhones are so convenient.

Surely these babies won't be expected to fly far away just yet?

Sadly yesterday for a variety of reasons I just did not get to take Heidi out in the car for a jaunt. Backache, earache, and headache, being only three of my woes!

Anyway wrapped up well I decided that two days running of no walkies beyond the gates was not on so off we set. Humph...bad dog walked by an innocuous looking pile of something in the middle of the lane...I thought I'd got away with it, but oh no...up went her nose and about turn. Off she went into a state of ecstasy, rolling in squalor! No amount of me shouting Heidi you ******* would stop her. So this was the result...

Doesn't she look pleased with herself...

So bad dog has now suffered the humiliation of having a shower!

She's been thoroughly rubbed dry and has chosen to lie out in the sun...good choice for now. Heidi like many other dogs suffers with skin itching which for the past year or so has been helped considerably by taking a drug called Apoquel. Fantastic apart from two issues...price being one, and the other being that it's been so popular there is real difficulty obtaining enough. So having read and read and read some more I've decided to try her on a raw food diet. Tomorrow will be day one...bang on it. Apparently it's the way to go as raw food passes through quicker than processed does and it's when the two mix that problems can occur. I really hope this is the answer to her woes. Having worked it out feeding her the recommended balance of muscle meat, bone, offal etc. should be cheaper than her processed food that's been giving her problems plus the cost of the medication. An important part of her diet will also be green tripe! Lucky girl. She seems to like eating a variety of disgusting things so should do ok.

Whilst out today the sky turned rather threatening...

I was rather glad it was time to head for home.

Though we did a bit of hedgerow admiring along the way.

So that's it for today...I'm just starting my fourth week off sick...getting rather fed up now. Seeing back lady again on Friday. Ooh can't wait!

My bank holiday weekend highlight will be watching the Edinburgh Military Tattoo on the BBC later...then it's Autumn for me...take care, J. x


Wednesday, 26 August 2015


Well yesterday saw me attending my first back appointment. It hurt a quite a bit....and today guess hurts a lot lot more! Indeed my pelvis had certainly migrated from its rightful position, and I'd developed a curve to my spine. My job involves lots of twisting and bending to the right. So with a prognosis of yes I can make you better, but it will happen again with your job I decided enough was enough. I asked my employer if I could go back and just do the activity club. And they've agreed thankfully. So for now I'm still off sick, but after next week, and further appointments hopefully I shall at least be doing one day a week.

I have lots of exercises to do, and it feels as though I've been through a mangle or something. Last night I took Heidi just down to the Noddy tree. Only ten minutes each way, but boy did it feel a long long way. So today I've set myself the tasks exercises, one load of washing, dishes, and an hour of paperwork, oh and cook tea. And that's all!

Sadly none of this...

My sewing corner...but I will get better, and I will soon be able to do all the things I want (hopefully).

Take care, J. x


Monday, 24 August 2015

Getting A Life Back

Slowly...albeit slowly things seem to be improving. Mentally if not physically yet. Tomorrow I have my first back appointment. I have had to go private as to wait until the end of September was just a no go. I'll get there. Today work asked me if I still wanted my first two weeks off as holiday pay or sick leave. While SSP is not as much I've opted to choose it over using up my holiday entitlement as I have loads I need to get done before winter and haven't been able to even think of. Belt tightening will be the order of the day for sure. Anyway I read somewhere the other day that it's not what we gather in life but what we scatter that's important. I'm inclined to agree.

Each day I've somehow found the enthusiasm to go out for a walk...painful and rather slow. But it is a non weight bearing exercise, so I hope I've been doing the right thing.

Weather wise August has been a bit of a soggy bog really, but we've found some lovely hours of sunshine scattered alongside the rain.

I've lurched my way around Rosemoor a couple of times, and met this scary spider...

I so did not like walking beneath him!

This little fella was outside the tea room waiting for crumbs...

And just look at this enormous tree...

It makes son look small! So amongst all the emotion and pain I must remind myself that there have been smiles and happiness. There was even a birthday. Aha well...

Take care...J. x


Saturday, 15 August 2015

The Healing Process

I suppose it was no surprise to me really that the doctor believes I'm suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. Well there certainly was a traumatic event, I'm obviously I'm also being referred to physio therapy for my hip/back problems. Though she thinks they're a secondary symptom. I was supposed to be on two weeks holiday, but that has been changed to sick leave. Next Thursday is my update day with her to decide how things are going. In the meantime she suggested I enjoy myself. Really. Hobbling along, feeling sick, not wanting to eat much (though that could be a bonus for weight loss), feeling anxious, feeling guilty for feeling like this, wanting to run away from it all, wanting to find a less stressful better paid job, feeling guilty for wanting to, well I'll try to enjoy myself, but can make no promises.

Having said all that, nature provided us with a beautiful day the other day. The sun shone. We took Heidi for a lovely walk through the forest. As long as I walk slowly, strangely my hip seems to have three distinct moves with each stride at the moment accompanied by shooting pain down my leg. Though it is the less evil of the three recommend non weight bearing exercises. And cheapest while not on full pay. Youngest daughter came with us. She works where I do and was also there on traumatic day, but didn't witness it all thankfully. It may be my Mother protective instinct that has kicked in causing the stress. Anyway we took a little lunch. It wasn't the longest of jaunts but got everybody out and resulted in a happy dog. Later on I took the secateurs to some brambles that have dared to grow across our drive, though was mindful not to cut back the productive stems! Yes brambles in the garden...very fashionable even the RHS are selling them you know...we are such trend setters! Next I took a look at our sad little onions and shallots. And made a decision, they needed to come out of the ground before the threatened rains came. With the help of my Mothers old step stool which I sat on I got the job done. It gladdened my heart to think that there was a small harvest safety gathered in...even though we have not had a single runner bean yet. So they are laid out drying on slats in the poly tunnel. It was warm enough to eat our very humble tea outside.


Well after writing the above words and then forgetting all about them the rains certainly did come. Today has been slightly better, and the mutt has had a quiet plod down to the river. I've been making a real effort to catch up with some paperwork, though sitting for any length of time is problematic. As is sleeping, walking and just about anything. I so hope my referral will be through by Monday. I have managed to refrain from popping painkillers, and have just used deep heat and hot water bottles. Pain does have a tendency to wear you down so maybe that's why I feel really rather crap.

My head feels a bit like come I haven't coped well...should I change my job...should I look for something with more sociable hours...will my leg ever recover enough to stick driving the work minibus that has rather stiff pedals...will my back pain stop enough for me to get some sleep tonight...will I need more time off than the two weeks I've initially been given. Should I just quit now...what sort of job would I like to do if I many hours could I cope with...see a right muddle if ever there was one.

Anyway, the best I can do for now is hobble around and make myself a cuppa to take outside after wrapping up well...the autumnal feel is definitely in the favourite time of year...I only hope I shall be physically and emotionally well enough to make the most of this harvest season.

J. x


Sunday, 9 August 2015

Trying To Fathom Feelings

Some weeks ago we had something not nice happen at shook me up badly that day, but afterwards I felt fine...then a couple of weeks ago the resident in question moved out. Since then I've had the jitters and when someone grabbed my arm the other day I just had to get outside. It's not like I haven't been grabbed many times before, but oh my goodness it was dreadful. I have loved my job for almost two years, but am having serious doubts as to whether I can carry on. I'm on two weeks holiday at the moment but have made a doctors appointment. I'm not having a happy time. I just can't fathom how I could stick the time of high stress but when that was finally over it feels as if I'm falling apart.

J. x